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God bless,
The Cross-Eyed Cafe servers
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
More Top Tens
We love you guys! Please keep the Top Ten lists coming. Oh, my goodness, they are the funniest confessions on the internet.(I think my granny sent in today's submission.) Without further ado:
Top Ten Reasons Only Jesus Could Love Me, and everyone else has their doubts:
10. I empty the cheese biscuit basket from Red Lobster into my purse and reorder.
9. Sometimes I serve guests regular coffee, while assuring them it's decaf.
8. I buy peppermint patties at the supermarket and eat them in the car on the way home, so Idon't have to share with the kids and husband.
7. I have used canned catfood in a tuna casserole in order to stretch the servings to cover unexpected dinner guests. (Shhhh. That one is nasty, but don't judge.)
6. I once dated a plumber.
5. I have been QVC-free for eleven years; okay, ten months really.
4. I have gone to 12 Step meetings to meet new, interesting friends (but have no addiction myself).
3. If you have ever received a birthday present from me, it's a regift.
2. I only accept text messages and emails, so you must give up your dream of ever having me call you back.
1. I eat Dunkin Donuts while watching "The Biggest Loser" on TV, and enjoy them thoroughly.
--Name withheld by request, Boca Raton
We love you guys! Please keep the Top Ten lists coming. Oh, my goodness, they are the funniest confessions on the internet.(I think my granny sent in today's submission.) Without further ado:
Top Ten Reasons Only Jesus Could Love Me, and everyone else has their doubts:
10. I empty the cheese biscuit basket from Red Lobster into my purse and reorder.
9. Sometimes I serve guests regular coffee, while assuring them it's decaf.
8. I buy peppermint patties at the supermarket and eat them in the car on the way home, so Idon't have to share with the kids and husband.
7. I have used canned catfood in a tuna casserole in order to stretch the servings to cover unexpected dinner guests. (Shhhh. That one is nasty, but don't judge.)
6. I once dated a plumber.
5. I have been QVC-free for eleven years; okay, ten months really.
4. I have gone to 12 Step meetings to meet new, interesting friends (but have no addiction myself).
3. If you have ever received a birthday present from me, it's a regift.
2. I only accept text messages and emails, so you must give up your dream of ever having me call you back.
1. I eat Dunkin Donuts while watching "The Biggest Loser" on TV, and enjoy them thoroughly.
--Name withheld by request, Boca Raton
Monday, May 11, 2009
We need your input! We have been giggling like insane people at the recent email Leona received. We'd like to expand this email into an open confessional. Please feel free to send in your Top Ten Reasons Why Only Jesus Could Love Me.
This is in good fun; nothing too weird please.
Excerpt from email sent to Leona below:
1. I have a Hello Kitty obsession (result of a stunted adolescence).
2. I shred my coworkers paperwork for fun.
3. I take 1000 pictures of myself untill I get the right one.
4. I correct people's grammar.
5. I watch My Super Sweet Sixteen even though I am 26.
6. If I'm at a red light and someone behind me honks the second it turns green, sometimes I'll stay put until the light turns red again. (That story doesn't really end well for me.)
7. I hate it when people don't know what I want them to do without me having to tell them.
8. I can't express my feelings unless I am yelling them.
9. I'm LOUD and excitable when talking, and talk too much.
10. I have no problem embarassing my child in public.
Please send your entries to Leona@crosseyedcafe.com .
This is in good fun; nothing too weird please.
Excerpt from email sent to Leona below:
10 Reasons Why Jesus Loves Me and Everyone Else Thinks I'm a Butthead:
2. I shred my coworkers paperwork for fun.
3. I take 1000 pictures of myself untill I get the right one.
4. I correct people's grammar.
5. I watch My Super Sweet Sixteen even though I am 26.
6. If I'm at a red light and someone behind me honks the second it turns green, sometimes I'll stay put until the light turns red again. (That story doesn't really end well for me.)
7. I hate it when people don't know what I want them to do without me having to tell them.
8. I can't express my feelings unless I am yelling them.
9. I'm LOUD and excitable when talking, and talk too much.
10. I have no problem embarassing my child in public.
Please send your entries to Leona@crosseyedcafe.com .
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